Prelude

You should have thought when you began,

To play your games with other lives,

Used them to bolster your own fears,

That one day the downtrodden rise again.

And so I am leaving you and this your cage,

In my own time and my own way,

To rise and take my place which you denied.

You who told my doctors and my friends,

“Beware of him, he makes things up”,

Or spun strange stories of who I was.

All so you could stop the world from seeing you,

As less than divine, less than the publicist wanted,

But most of all because when you say it,

It always then, like God, becomes the truth.

Well that’s ok and that’s all right,

You’ve gone and hurt the ones I love,

And you’ve hurt me but didn’t know,

I’ve been planning this for quite some time.

True you broke my will and did again,

Cost me the things I loved the most.

Drove me mad and twisted my mind,

Kept me locked up with empty promises,

Showed change to turn it into more of same,

Lost me friends and lost me love,

And I may never get them back,

But I forgive but won’t forget.

Every choice was bent to keep it all the same,

Where we lived, how I worked, who I met,

And all you gave me was eight square feet,

As if that made your house my home.

You who told me you only brought me,

So that you could fix what you saw broken,

Like you did the time before.

So no more pills and no more guilt,

No more pushed back on the shelf,

No self abuse to transmute yours,

And no more waiting for a kiss,

That never came, that never will.

And in the twilight of your rage,

Remember this and think on it,

I loved you while you did all this,

And love you now enough to leave,

Because I love myself the more.

So thank you for the lessons you taught,

And thank you for the pain and scars,

But most of all thank you for being you.

I wish you well and hope you heal,

But it’s now time for me to live for me.

I may not live as you see fit,

You may have taken everything,

And everyone but now I stand in truth.

I healed and you were cause not cure.

Macclesfield-Psalter-43v-Detail-of-Dragon-and-Lion

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